Secret Shame
by alicecullen28
Summary: Bella is mute and Emmett is her brother when bella is forced into moving back to forks. Will all her demons finally be tooken care of or will she forever be silent dealing in her own way all by her self. Or will friends and family finally break her out of the shell of a life shes created.
1. Chapter 1

_Summary :_

_Bella is mute and Emmett is her brother when Bella is forced into moving back to forks. Will all her demons finally be taken care of or will she forever be silent dealing in her own way all by her self. Or will friends and family finally break her out of the shell of a life she has created._

_Chapter 1:_

_"Isabella, I know you're in there your mom wont be gone to long" he says slowly walking into my bedroom. He begins hitting things knocking my alarm clock to the floor with a crash I let out a squeal and he turned toward my closet. I jumped and I pulled the closet door shut "please leave me alone, please". "Now Isabella you know I cant do that I have to have my lil bit of you, NOW" he screamed and jerked my closet door open._

I awoke out of my and fell in the floor. My mom Renae came running in the room what happened. I said nothing just looked from the bed to the floor. "please baby girl tell what it is that's made you quit talking Im begging you. I just shook my head no, how could I tell her that her new husband abuses me in every way possible. He is such a nice guy to her I wonder what I did to make him hate me so much. But its been 4 years since the first time he done it, and a lot in between it just became too much lying trying to hide the everything to quit speaking just seemed like the way to go and its worked pretty well. Renea put her head in her hands, and cried. After all the awkwardness she raised up and said "I've tried all I can think of, I think its time I send you to live with Charlie for a while." I just stared at her in shock what I thought he didn't want me what makes you think he wants me now. So I get up and found a piece of paper and a pencil and wrote "why, he didn't want me, he doesn't even call why send me there, are you mad at me im sorry " I wrote.

"Oh honey, he's just been busy with your brother". I just looked confused now so she continued." Yes you have a brother when I left I brought you with me and he kept Emmett." So we both had a lil bit of our family. "But ive already called him and your leaving tomorrow night on a plane headed to forks Washington and he will pick you up." ok Renea said.

"wait" I wrote. " Mom I don't want to go" I scribbled. I mean yes I hate it here I thought but I don't even know these people what if they can do worse than Phil I shuddered at the thought. "Bella you barely eat, your always in here never go out anymore your just wasting away and you wont let me help I have to do this we will just try it for a few years and after you can come back if it don't work ok. With that she got up and told me to have my stuff packed before tomorrow at 6 and closed my bedroom door on her way out.

I heard her walking away so i ran over and locked the door quickly I didn't need him walking in while I was in the middle of an anxiety attack. To much to soon is going on I need a release, so i ran to my bathroom and started to take a shower, I stripped while looking at the floor to make sure I didn't look at my disgusting self and got right in. While the warm water beats down on me I grab my box cutter I look down at my arms and i see all the scars and I wonder, how will I ever get these to go away and I laugh out loud I grab my hands and cover my mouth then back to what I was doing I take it and make four brand new cuts and just watch the blood wash away with a sting. I love the sting I'm watching it and I am not focused on Phil I am not worried about forks or Charlie or Emmett for a split second I'm happy and I feel like myself but then its time to get out and reality hits me square in the face.

I was putting on my clothes and I hear my moms car pulling out of the garage. I hurry and put on a long sleeve shirt and some pants and run to see what time it is. Please don't let it be seven, but sure enough it was that meant she's going to work at the hospital as an intern and I'm stuck with Phil all night. I started to cry I went into my room and saw a note under my door it was mom telling me she had to work to be ready to leave when she got home. I rechecked my door and I ran into my closet and locked it and just sat there in the dark praying he'd come in and pass out from drinking and not come up here. But I knew that was a lost prayer.


	2. Farewell present

Chapter 2:

But I knew that was a lost prayer... I fell asleep in my closet I was woken quickly when I heard the door slam downstairs I knew I wasnt asleep that long so it had to be phil. As soon as I thought that

"Isabella, come let me in" he slurred.

"Please I want to tell you goodbye since your leaving tomorrow". he started beating on my door, now Isabella" he screamed.

Well ill just wait on your mom than and ill tell her whats been going on. With that I jumped up and ran to unlock my door she would hate me if she knew. As soon as I did I knew id regret it. There in my doorway was the devil himself in blue jeans. Tall dark light brown hair dark brown eyes giving me the devilish grin he pushed me inside ive already started to cry.

"oh bella I miss your screaming and begging me stop for old-time sake say something" he said with a smile on his face.

I didn't I just cried and backed up and kept backing up every time he stepped forward but my back was hitting the wall I didn't have anywhere else to go. He raised his hand and slapped me,

"say something you bitch"

Then punched me in the gut I groaned and fell to the floor holding my stomach.

"ah I see that's what im going to have to do to get some noise". So he shoved me into the wall smashing my head against it

"ah " I said accidentally, I knew it's just gonna get much worse. He reached down and grabbed my hair and pulled me onto the bed, I knew what was coming so I started squirming fighting but it never does any good.

"So feisty, its just a going away present ill make sure it's not the last one so don't worry".

With that he grabbed my arms and pulled my shirt up over my head making my arms tangled so I couldn't get them out. So I started to cry more, he punched me in the stomach again im almost sure he broke a rib that time and I did something ill forever regret

"please stop it hurts" I begged.

"Oh Isabella, its nice to hear from you, itll only take a few minutes and with that my pants and underwear was gone.

"no not again please leave me alone".

"I can't and with that he forced hisself inside me an I cried and cried until he was done he got off me and got dressed right before he left he turned and said "

Dont mention this to anyone my Isabella or your mother will pay the price in fact don't ever talk unless your with me or she will pay for it got it and slapped me in the face and left. I ran to my shower I had to get rid of him all I could. I ran inside and locked the door threw my clothes away and got in and let the hot water wash him away but my ribs hurt bad it hurt to breathe I knew that was probably my panic attack coming so I grabbed my box cutter and went to town, after a new set of cuts I turned the water off and just sat in my tub curled up hugging my knees. Maybe leaving will help he can't possibly come there every night like he does here. So I got up and got dressed and started packing.


	3. Intel

Chapter 3:

I'm all packed sitting on the bed waiting on mom to get home. I hear her car an I pull on my jacket so she cant see bruises or my cuts. I picked a black shirt red jacket and some blue jeans some red flats somewhat presentable right? So I went downstairs knowing it was safe if mom was home and grabbed a pop tart and started taking a few bites when Phil walked in an took it and said

"whores don't need to eat so stop." an threw it in the trash.

When mom came in she said,

"sorry I'm late let me change and I'm ready load your stuff please an ill be out there in a second." she said looking at me then disappeared upstairs.

"At least now she will have more time with me not a worthless whore go do what she told you to do" he whispered while rubbing his hand up an down my back so I left quick I still had shivers running up an down my body. I loaded my stuff and got in the car and locked the door.

The whole ride mom just kept apologizing for making me go but she is worried bout me an I really can't blame her. I grabbed my marker and board an wrote

"do they know I don't talk"? I gave it to her and she said

" yeah I told Charlie I assume he told Emmett." we got you a phone so Phil an I can keep in touch ok, we went with black and red since those seem to be your colors these days."

I just nodded my head and when we got to the airport she gave me a hug and told me goodbye and I boarded my plane.

CHARLIE POV

"Emmett get down here" I Screamed I hear him coming down the stairs. I turn an I see my son taller than me muscles but wouldn't hurt a fly I laugh to myself.

"did you skip school again"? I looked questioning at him

"dad Rose needed me she was having issues you know the story. "Emmett pleaded.

"don't change the fact Emmett you should have told me, your grounded for two weeks". I said as my phone started ringing

"hello" I said annoyed.

"hello, is this Charlie,"

"Yes and who is this"

"Its Renae, Charlie I wanted to know if its ok that Bella comes and lives with you for a couple of years?"

"why now what's going on" I asked Emmett ran over

" what's wrong dad" I just held a finger up for him to give me a second.

"well Charlie, its Bella about four years ago she quit talking wont tell me why or anything we've tried therapy but she doesnt even try, she barely eats, goes into panic attacks around different people and I don't know what else to do other than a change of scenery".

"Ok its fine when will she be coming"?

"Tomorrow at 6 be there to pick her up, oh an charlie don't push to hard she may be self harming ok, please help her bye."

And with that the line went dead. My poor baby girl how am I suppose to tell Emmett.


	4. Carlisles everywhere

Chapter 4:

CHARLIE POV

How am I suppose to tell Emmett?

"Emmett let's go sit down" I said while gesturing to the couch.

"What's wrong dad" he asked me he was concerned for me and I was worried about how he would take this.

"Its your sister" I said.

"Bella what's wrong with her?" he asked.

"First off I doubt she remembers you the way you do her you were older when they left, but she's coming to live with us" I said and looked up at him.

He jumped up "really" he exclaimed,

"to have belly button back im so glad" he was practically bouncing. "Emmett calm down that's not it. Renae said she doesn't talk anymore."

"What, Why Bella was a chatterbox". He asked questioning me.

"She don't know said she doesn't talk, barely eats and possibly hurts herself."

"What" you could see the happy drain from his face.

"what caused this how longs it been going on"

"I don't know Emmett but she scares around people so no party's not a lot of people and when she starts school watch out for her."

"ok dad I will I want our Bella back" he said pained maybe in time son.

"When is she coming"?

" tomorrow so let's get her the spare room cleaned up."

Ok and we set off to get her room set up tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.

BELLA POV

Oh my gosh im paranoid on this plan when will it be over I put my head in my hands to many strangers looking asking things I cant take it, my breathing started to come fast. Damn it panic attack what do I do there are no corners no closets bathroom I make a bee line for it damn im getting ready to pass out ugh in out in out mentally trying to calm myself all I heard was "someone catch her", before everything went black.

I slowly began to wake up everything was spinning but focused real quick when someone grabbed my hand I jerked it away to notice I wasn't on the plane anymore I was in a room an I ran to the nearest corner bawled up and started crying and digging my nails into my wrist under my sleeves hoping everyone would disappear.

"Isabella, im Dr. Cullen Im just here to make sure your ok". he claimed showing me his hands as he approached. I kept trying to back up but I couldn't. So I just cried.

"shhh Isabella im not going to hurt you" "my names Carlisle im friends with your father." I was trying to quit crying long enough to look at him. "I just want to see your arm can I"? I just shook my head no "please" it wont hurt I just want to check your pulse"

I just kept shaking my head no, well can I take you to your dad he's waiting outside he said as he tried to help me up I just ignored it and stood. But winced that fall must have hit my ribs pretty sure that dr. noticed to. I just kept my head down and followed him out of the airport to a police cruiser.

I grabbed my pen and paper I thought u was a dr. I wrote? and showed Carlisle it. He just chuckled i am a dr. Isabella but your dads the chief of police here in forks. I wrote fast please call be Bella an showed him, "ok Bella" he laughed. "here comes your dad I should have known he'd go straight to the gift shop." I looked over and saw a guy about my height same brown hair color coming at me and I started backing up. Carlisle has blonde hair so he don't remind me as much but ugh Charlie did. Carlisle just looked at me puzzled standing in fear. "hey Charlie let me talk to you right fast" as he led him to the other side of the car. I just got in no need for me to pry.

CARLISLE POV

I was so tired of being away from my family so I hopped a plane back to forks I heard Charlies daughter was coming home and that I would be needed. I really had to use the bathroom so I got up and was headed to it when I saw a girl gasping for air she was going to pass out an I couldn't reach her so I screamed "someone catch her".

But it was too late she hit the floor, it's a good thing we were landing I carried her out and laid her down on a couch at the airport an looked for a name. Lucky me she had all her papers in her pockets Isabella Swan that's Charlies daughter wow maybe I should call him before she wakes up. RINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG "Charlie, this is Carlisle I was on my way home when a girl on my plane had a panic attack and her papers say Isabella swan that's your daughter right?"

"Carlisle is she alright, is it true she don't talk" Charlie rushed

"She seems alright but you might want to bring her to the office let me get a better look she took a fall. As for talking I don't know she is still out cold". I replied

"well im on my way be careful with her she is very afraid of people is all I know Carlisle and how bout we go straight to the hospital so you can do a proper physical on her for school anyway that way we know she is safe to go.? Charlie replied.

"that sounds great well come find you Charlie". and with that I hung up. Just in time to Isabella was beginning to wake up so I grabbed her hand and she jerked away like she was on fire or something raised up looked around and ran straight to a corner sat down and started crying.

I walked over and tried to talk to her

"I'm Dr. Cullen I just need to make sure ok".

It looked as if she was trying to go further into the wall so I tried to talk to her get her to warm up to me.

"I'm Carlisle im friends with your dad". She just looked up at me with her tear soaked face.

"Can I see your arm".

She just started shaking her head no over and over. So I tried again "Please I just need to check your pulse it wont hurt".

Again no.

"Well can I take you to your dad" she began to move so I tried to help her up but she just ignored my hand I waited for her to start walking but it seemed like she preferred to follow. What happened to this girl I wondered.

I saw Charlie's cruiser so I started walking toward it but he was nowhere to be found. She started playing with a pen and marker and asked me if I was a doc. seeing as we came to a cop car. So I told her that her dad was the chief she didn't know. Then she wrote she liked to be called Bella. But then her whole attitude changed when she saw who was coming at us she started backing up her breathing changed. I had to do something she couldn't handle another panic attack so soon so I went to talk to Charlie. I led him around his car, and told him to go straight to the hospital that she's is probably going to have another panic attack. We both looked over and she was already in just looking out the window. I told Charlie id meet him there and headed for my car.


	5. hospital sucks

Chapter 5

CHARLIE POV

My poor girl she looks like she hasn't eaten in years. We need to get her to the hospital fast. So I floored it.

BELLA POV

I sat in that stupid cruiser for dr. Cullen and dad to quit talking. He scares me how horrible of a daughter am I when my own dad scares me enough to put me into panic attacks. I'll be glad when im in my room locked away from everyone can't be much longer.

"We are here" I heard Charlie say. But i look up and were at a hospital. I look at him questioning? but he don't get it so I get my marker and pad and write you live here? he chuckled

"no bells this is the hospital Dr. Cullen has to do your physical for school, and told me about your fall so he asked me to bring you here first."

I wrote NO and gave it to him.

"bells why not". I looked at her pleading. She just kept shaking her head no.

"Bells you have to you can go in willingly or ill have him come out here."

NO NO NO I just kept thinking why is he doing this I didn't do anything bad why is he punishing me. If I go in he's going to think im a whore im worthless that doctor, will be touching me no no no i just start to cry and hyperventilate.

"Bella you have to calm down slow breaths honey" then he got our ran over to my door and yanked it open I crawled to the other side and out the door and fell blackness I welcomed it this time.

CHARLIE POV

What is wrong with her it's just a physical that's it. Shoot, she's passed out or knocked out. I picked her up and ran into the hospital I need Carlisle now I told the receptionist. One moment she said.

Carlisle came rushing in "what happened" he said taking Bella into a room and laying her down.

"I don't know i told her we were here and she refused to come in I told her she had to or you would come out there and came around her door to get her out and she backed out the other side and fell."

"Ah well Charlie give me a few minutes and ill check her over and let you know."

"Ok ill be right outside." Charlie said.

CARLISLE POV

Here she is yet again out cold. Wow she is clumsy I thought. Ill take some blood to run to see if there's anything there so I pulled up her sleeve. What I saw brought tears to my eyes, so many self-inflicted marks they covered both arms. So I decided to have a nurse come in and put her in a gown so I can take a closer look.

Vidia please come here" "Yes" please get miss swan in a gown for me and get a couple of full body x-rays to be sure everything is fine from the fall. "

"Yes Dr. Cullen."

About thirty minutes passed and vidia came and told me that Bella was back in her room for the rest of her physical.

I walked in an looked at the x-rays and it seems she has to fractured ribs I bet that hurts but those falls would not have caused them. I see her arms and she has bruises to follow the cuts like she was held down. I don't want to but I need to check her to see if she's been raped bur our girl doctor is out of town.

"Charlie?"

"Yes is she ok Carlisle" he jumped

"Um I don't know how to tell you this but she has a couple of fractured ribs she looks anorexic and she is self harming. I fear she may have been raped and seeing as im family friend I cant do it, it has to be Victoria and she is gone for the week and I fear we may not want to bring bella back to get checked without her consent she may try to really hurt herself do you follow"

"Oh god Carlisle what do I do" Charlie asked

"Just try to make her eat, no heavy lifting and just don't push her to hard therapy wont work until she's willing to go to it."

It's all on her now so just be patient, also something about you scares her so go slow around her announce what you're doing before you do it and tell Emmett the same don't tell him bout the rape though she may be able to tell they are acting different ok."

"Ok Carlisle thanks" Charlie said

"Id say she's going to wake up so im going back in there" Carlisle said." "You knock and announce before you come in" he added

"ok"

Wow she can talk hmm I thought.

no stop no please she jerked herself awake she scanned the room and noticed she was in the hospital in a gown in front of me and she got up and ran to the corner she saw her arms that they were exposed and just started to cry.

"Bella, do you want to tell me why you're doing this" I begged her. Such a beautiful girl shouldn't do this I thought.

she just shook her head no she looked up and he sighed "what about your ribs how did that happen?" he asked.

She was starting to panic then there was a knock at the door "Its Charlie im coming in " as he was a opening the door Bella jumped up and put her coat on over the gown then curled into a ball and sat back down in the corner. "Bella you ready to go home" Charlie asked she just nodded. "Where are her clothes" Charlie asked. "oh, over in the closet just go get changed." Carlisle said.

We just sat there talking and noticed itd been about thirty minutes since she went in to get her clothes we walked over knocked then opened the door and there was Bella curled up on the floor sound asleep. We decided to let her sleep for a while before we took her home to meet Emmett.


	6. weeping angel

Chapter 6

BELLA POV

I was having a nightmare than woke up in a hospital I could see Carlisle staring at me then I noticed I was in a gown so I ran to the corner and tried to hide but my tears started of course. He knew how many other things did he know. But when in a hospital the answer is always no so I had no idea what I was saying no to. There was a knock and Charlie came in I ran and put my jacket on that was on the chair close to Carlisle I will add. He asked me if I was ready to leave you bet I was so I shook my head yes. He asked were my clothes was and Carlisle said the closet so I got up and went inside. Damn cant I just stay in here ,in here I felt safe no eyes no way in but one and I just sat down listening to them talk about Emmett and some guy named Edward and fell asleep.

_"Did you tell them anything" phil screamed at me. "No I said no just like you told me I swear" I begged. "Its a good thing your moms not home as he slapped me in the face you know I wouldn't have hurt you if you hadn't asked for it"_

_'"what I didn't" I said. _

_"Oh yes you did like now your just begging me to show you again," he said with a smile._

_"no please im sorry ill shut up I swear". I begged Then he was on me _

_"no Phil please im already hurt" I begged._

_"See chatterbox you are just making me hornier." he smirked and grabbed my hands took his belt off and tied them to my bed. I jerked and pulled until my wrists were bleeding._

_ "Ready for round two" he said as he climbed on top of me._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I screamed and launched myself awake and out of the closet.

I grabbed my pen and paper and wrote im ready to go please and I handed it to Charlie but stayed a few feet away he just nodded and said bye to Carlisle and we got in the cruiser and headed home.

We pulled up to a beautiful house white house, the picket fence and everything I liked it. I got out and followed Charlie I think im going to call him Charlie I like it better than dad. So I followed him inside it was cozy and small. Made me antsy knowing ill run into them how am I suppose to hold my tongue all the time at least at home I had moments of alone time to sing or draw to myself but I guess that's forever lost. Oh how I loved to sing. I saddened myself at the thought of my old self. I walked in to the living room and there sat five strangers staring at me I just turned and walked back outside and sat down put my head in my hands and just sat there.

A few minutes later someone came outside and sat at the other end of the long porch but a warmth just came no fear. So I looked up he had bronze hair he looked like a Greek god.

"You know no ones going to leave with you out here they don't want to scare you" the mysterious guy said.

"can I come over there and talk to you" he asked I just shook my head no.

"what bout you come over here and if you can't you can go back, deal" he asked.

What's the harm I thought. I got up and moved toward him, slowly but instead of sitting next to him I sat in the corner over his shoulder.

"well that's an improvement I suppose." and he chuckled I loved that chuckle he sounded so carefree.

"My names Edward, I believe you met my dad today Carlisle"?

I just shook my head yes "You look sad did my dad scare you"?

I let out the breath I was holding and just continued shaking my head yeah. I just kept thinking what guy don't scare me I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"ah something's funny what is it I want to know." Edward exclaimed I just pointed to my bag. He got up went and got it and slid it to me no contact. I was beginning to like this guy. I wrote I was just thinking of what guy don't scare me these days I wrote. He looked sad at that.

"Am I scaring you" he asked

not at the moment I wrote he just looked at me and said "so you think I will?" he said with his eyebrow raised so I wrote everyone always does an I just looked down.

"Well everyone in there they wont hurt you not intentionally but your room is upstairs on your right its purple you can't miss it make a run for it if you'd like" he said I wrote a simple thanks and watched him the way inside and ran like my life depended on it upstairs and locked the door.

Edward POV

Well that was a weird conversation. What all happened everyone asked. Nothing she was afraid to come in so i told her were her room was. that's it.

"Dang it im never going to get to meet my sister" Emmett screamed.

"Calm down Emmett your driving her to school tomorrow so you will in the morning just be careful around her no touching. " Charlie said. Now sorry but you all got to go you got school in the morning so get out, goodnight." Charlie said while showing us all to the door.

Charlie tell Emmett to ask before he does things it calms her and with that I left with a weeping angel upstairs how was I suppose to sleep now. I ran upstairs this is going to be one good thing about being there neighbors I ran upstairs to see her in pajamas crying curled up in the closet with the lights on poor girl and thought how can I help you.


	7. Strong arms

Chapter 7

I woke up and had to think about where I was Charlies ugh thoughts of yesterday came flying back. I climbed out of my closet to see that I could see into the next house. Mental note close the blinds. I stand and stretch knowing I got to get ready for school I'm so glad I have my own bathroom knowing they aint going to walk in on me eases my nerves a few seconds. I went over to my door to make sure it was locked and saw a note on the floor. Dear Bella I had to go early into work you will be riding to school with Emmett he leaves at 7 so be ready by then. Love Charlie.

What time is it 4 am ugh what am I suppose to do. I picked out a red long sleeve shirt cause im sure to be doing some cutting later. Reds hard to bleed through and blue jeans red flats I pulled my hair up to see if the bruise Phil left me had disappeared it hadn't so I guess im leaving my hair down. So I stripped my clothes off and walked into the bathroom and walked out to grab a sheet to throw over the mirror don't like them I said to myself then jumped in the shower and got out quickly knowing id cut if I stay to long. So here I was ready for school at 5 , 2 hours to kill what to do. I pulled my Huge sketch pad out and started to draw but all I could think of was Edward and how he talked to me yesterday in Arizona after a while people just quit even trying. I zoned out I heard a knock on my door and came out of it, i had drawn Edward outside my closet door and me in the closet crying. Why, because he's going to hurt me even if he says he's not I thought this made me very depressed and I don't know why. So I moved to unlock my door , there im my door way was a guy I don't know but he was huge with a goofy grin on his face. I just cocked and eyebrow at him trying to go what with my face.

"I um Im Emmett your brother" and he held out his hand.

I just looked at it and then him, and he just lowered it looking out of place.

"Well if your ready my car is outside, yeah so let's go" and he turned and started walking.

I ran into my bathroom and grabbed my box cutter and shoved it into my bag and hurried outside I really don't need to make him mad he could break me like a twig he had an old beaten down red truck close proximity starting to wonder if I can make it to school without a panic attack he did something funny he turned on the radio and demi lavota heart attack was on he turned the radio full blast and started singing I swear I bout lost control and laughed but I was smiling like and idiot watching my brother be stupid. "oh belly button, im sorry rose makes me listen to it" he laughed and pulled into the high school. I grabbed my marker and marker board and wrote its ok I like that song to plus it was fun to watch you. I showed him he just smiled and got out of the car. Walked around and waited on me to get out, I see those five strangers walking over I guess there friends with Emmett.

So I got out and Emmett went "Bella this is Rose my girlfriend," she had blonde hair and gorgeous.

"Hey " she said

She is Jaspers sister and he pointed at a tall light hair guy he was quiet he scared me so I just backed up from him Emmett went on He and rose were adopted by the Cullen's a few years back.

You met Edward last night I believe so

"Hey Bella" he said with a wave but no movement toward me. This is Alice we call her pixie you'll get use to it she came bouncing up and hugged me. I just blinked and didn't move.

"Alice, stop it" Edward screamed

"What Edward I just wanted to say hi" She pouted and ran over to jasper and kissed him. I suppose they are dating with those actions at school no less. I thought they was no touching at school I was told not to even get close enough to be able to touch them and here this chick just jumped me. What do I do let it go stress over it it's already happened can't take it back. But I will admit I liked it though.

Emmett looked at me Rose already went and got your schedule you have classes with all of us at some point but you got Eddie alone in your last class of the day is that okay that he sticks with you. I just nodded my head ok. I had to get this day over I was getting stressed.

So I grabbed my marker and wrote does she make you want to paint your nails and wear high heels? and gave it to Emmy and just smiled. But he let out a howl of laughter making people look at us. I saw a kid coming this way I just kept flashing back to Phil coming at me so I started backing up and I back into Edward. I turned into his chest and started crying he put his arms around me

"shhh your ok, what's wrong" he asked me

"Hey you guys I thought id come welcome the new girl to school maybe take her on a tour of the building maybe dinner later if shed like" and he nudged jasper

"Mike get out of here" Emmett said

"Ah man come on you all already got two hot ones let the normal kids have her." He begged

"Leave now" Emmett warned

" Fine all talk to you later than" he screamed and walked away

Edward pulled me away from him" bella look he's gone he isn't here anymore are you going to be ok" he asked me pleading in his eyes so I just nodded I knew I was going to have to go to the bathroom now. I grabbed my Marker and board bathroom I wrote and showed him.

"Ok I will tell them" Edward said

"Alice you need to powder your nose, Bella needs to go the bathroom." he told her it wasn't a question. She just said yes and grabbed Rose to come to.


	8. just a little paper cut

Chapter 8

EdPOV

We had all been warned about Bella to be careful around her and watch for signs of self harm which we knew thanks to my own past. But we were all laughing cause Bella was making fun of Emmett then suddenly she backed into me

"Bella" I asked

But she turned into me and started to cry so I tried to comfort her. "shhh what's wrong" I asked

She just shook then I saw mike coming and motioned to Emmett he was the cause so he'd take care of it. I just held her while she cried I wish there was something I could do. when mike was gone I pulled her out to show her he wasn't there anymore and asked if she would be ok she nodded yeah then started writing when she showed me my heart hit the floor cause I knew from my story that she needed to go to the bathroom. I knew she was going to harm. So I said id let them know and told Alice to go with her for when she does to have to somehow check her later.

BPOV

I ran into a stall and locked the door, went straight to my box cutter and got it out. "Hey Bella how long you think your going to be" Alice asked

Really I thought I grabbed a piece of paper and slid it under the door just a few ok you can wait outside if your done I wrote.

Trying to get her to leave me alone I want to focus to calm down I cant if miss chatty Cathy don't leave me alone I thought angrily.

"No we will wait on you" Rose said

I pulled my sleeve up how stupid was I to freak out and curl up in Edward I cant do that ugh you know you're a whore your gross your shameful don't get him stuck with you as a burden I thought to myself but he didn't scare me I felt safe. All the more reason to keep your distance he can get close remember Phil yea he will kill her so stop it. Before I noticed I was crying and cutting bad combination. Id cut 7 time in straight lines ugh it would be a few minutes until this quits bleeding so ill wrap it in toilet paper and pull my sleeve down i better remember to replace it before it bleeds through I thought to myself. I stood up wiped my face off it's a good thing I was already crying before or they would know something was up. Before I left my phone buzzed I pulled it out and I had a txt message. Phil, I thought I opened it and it read

_hey my Isabella how's things going up there I miss your sex your mom just don't do it right I hope you're not talking to anyone Bella I wouldn't mind being a little rougher with her well come visit soon bye._

She's not safe, im not safe what do I do? Go to class nothing is wrong remember I thought to myself. I walked out of the bathroom and looked at Emmett he looked worried. What I wrote and handed him . "Oh nothing your first class is English you have Edward in just about every class but one so stick with him ok." Emmett said and I just nodded great just what I needed sensitive Edward while im falling apart.

I walked in and Edward pulled me with him to a desk he took my paper that the teacher has to sign and got it signed and brought it back to me. I grabbed a sheet of paper this time this class looked boring already so I wrote thanks and slid it to him.

so Bella how are you today? he wrote

really I wrote

yea I want to know how you are doing he wrote he looked concerned

im fine why I wrote back and slid it back to him

Bella something's bothering you it's practically written all over your face and slid it back to me

Nothing Edward im just stressed he looked at it than at me raised his eyebrows and started writing again.

So what was your step dad and mom like before you moved back here? he wrote

I panicked I ripped the note up and put it in my bag and just shook my head at him. I looked over at him and he ripped another sheet out and slid it to me

Sorry I didn't mean to upset you just trying to make conversation I want to get to know you Bella you intrigue me. I read it and I didn't know how to respond so I put the truth you don't want to get to know me its to dangerous and I don't need another person to worry about im going home tell Emmett for me please I wrote bye I stood up and blood ran down my hand I grabbed it but im sure Edward seen.

"Bella let me take you home?" Edward begged

"you can't walk it's pouring"

I just shrugged my shoulders. Edward grabbed his phone and texted someone and led me out to his silver Volvo we got in and it was quiet all the way home.

"Bella can I come in I want to talk to you about something." Edward looked nervous I didn't want him nervous so I just nodded my head it didn't seem to help though.


	9. one word love

Chapter 9

EPOV

Im going to have to go into this and i really dont want to but its to help Bella I have to do this. She led me inside and she waited for me to sit down on the couch then she sat next to me huh that's weird I pegged her to sit at the end.

"Bella two years ago I was upset about something that happened to Rose and I got mad and went out driving it was stupid and I wrecked my car I hit another car and the two people inside they died, they had kids Bella there kids names are Jane and Alec. I left two kids without parents I was torn to pieces"

Keep going she needs to hear this I told myself.

"Bella I shut everyone out I didn't want anyone to talk to me I thought I would just kill them or hurt them. I began to harm myself" and I grabbed her hand she didn't move just looked at me I rolled my long sleeve up to show her scars.

" Bella I know you've been hurt and I know what you do" and I pulled up her sleeve

" because I've been there I can help you quit if you let me I haven't done it in a while it will be tough but please let me help you"

"Bella please write what your thinking." I begged and gave her my notebook. She just laid it down and I waited to see how much she hated me for what I just said.

BPOV

I walked behind him inside my house worried about what was going to happen I was alone with him would he hurt me. He sat down on the couch and waited on me I couldn't choose were to sit but he hasn't hurt me yet so I sat next to him id love to have him hold me now to feel safe in his arms like before. After he was settled he told me about an accident that happened and I felt sorry for him. He blamed himself for an accident that he went low to cutting just like me. He begged me to tell him what I was thinking but I didn't know myself, I think he was worried that I would be ashamed of him but I wasn't it was an accident it wasn't his fault for any of that happening and he shouldn't have blamed himself. "It wasn't your fault" I whispered and grabbed his hand. He jerked his head toward me in shock I think. I shocked myself I looked around to make sure that no one else heard me. I grabbed my marker and wrote fast please don't tell anyone please ill do anything I begged. Crap what did I just do hell kill her what do I do give him everything he wants but he can't tell no one I've ruined everything I thought.

"Bella" Edward grabbed my face to look into my eyes

"I wont tell a soul, I promise as long as you'll talk to me some more now tomorrow you can stop again but can I have that much." he pleaded.

I guess I have to do it I cant have anyone else know I talked im sure it would get back to HIM so I shrugged my shoulders.

"Bella why don't you want people to know you talked" he asked me

"Cause , cause he will find out and I cant let him find out" I replied putting my head in my hands and began crying. " how could I be this stupid one rule don't talk one gorgeous guy can get me to say things in two days what I've been holding in for years how can you do this to me you don't know what you're causing." I pleaded.

"Bella, what will happen if he finds out?" Edward asked me concerned

"He will kill her and then me but not before he does things worst then death itself." I cried.

"Please Edward, dont say anything please ill die before I talk to other people I swear." and I hugged him and ran to my room and locked the door. Edward walked up to my bedroom door

"Bella I wont tell anyone I swear this but if this guy was as bad as I think he is what makes you think you have to talk to be punished by him.? he asked I slowly started to open my door.

"your right its a lose situation but I don't want her to die and I don't want him to touch me again" I cried and fell to the floor. But then I got mad, here I was exposing myself and he could hurt me with this information "GET OUT, Get out now I cried " and I pushed him out my door and slammed and locked it I ran over to my closet and cried myself to sleep.

EPOV

Here I am in my room staring out my window wondering if I did more harm than help, not to mention probably lost her forever.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Leave me alone, I told you I don't want anything to eat Alice" I screamed while opening my door. "oh sorry dad" I apologized

"Its okay son what's wrong, Esme said you came home early and went straight into your room, she's afraid you're going to do something should I be concerned" Carlisle asked glancing toward my arms.

"Dad I don't know what to do" I said

"With what" he replied

" Bella, she told me and I stress told me some things she holding in and their bad dad, its dangerous for her and someone else, but she closed up on me and kicked me out she doesn't even want people to know she spoke she said shell die if that happens, I don't want anything to happen to her she don't deserve anything bad to happen to her I think I love her and I've probably lost her forever." I told him

"Well son she trust you or she wouldn't have said that much, so maybe there's hope she may be feeling vulnerable because you know something and she doesn't know if you will keep it to yourself or not she's worried" Carlisle said.

"I shared my story with her, and she told me it wasn't my fault. She cut today 7 times from what I seen she didn't clean them either I intended to but things escalated you know." I said as I paced and kept taking peaks out my window and into hers nothing she must still be in the closet

"Just watch her son she sounds like you're the only one going to get close enough to save her." and with that my dad left my room.


	10. just stay away im begging you

BPOV

What am I going to do I spoke, one stupid rule how is it he can make me do that he about had me agreeing to stop cutting its my crutch it keeps me sane. As I looked down at my arms i'm so disgusting he'd never love me and I cant talk to him again I cant. I got up and ready and me and Emmett headed for school I wrote hey Em do you think we can pull over and get breakfast i'm starving, if not that's fine ill wait. I scribbled quick.

"Oh belly button when you want food just let us know you can have whatever you want well stop at the diner for pancakes how bout that." Emmett said he continued with "you don't eat enough how come?" he questioned

I wrote not allowed, I followed him into the diner and we ordered pancakes "Who told you couldn't eat because I want to get a hold of them your to skinny my belly buttons got to have some meat on her bones cause when Alice takes you shopping your going to drop " Emmett continued. I just looked confused I wrote why would I drop, and he just chuckled

"she shops for hours and you have to give or she will dress you up on purpose" he said

We ate and oh my gosh they were awesome didn't stop me from running to the bathroom to throw up for eating so much but they were good. we got back in the car and Em started talking quick "Bella your sick, you need to see the doctor if you can't hold your food down." Emmett said concerned. I wrote i'm fine Emmett don't worry.

"That is hard when your my sister its my job belly button." Emmett said as we pulled up to the school. I saw him staring waiting I can do this just ignore him.

"So Bella you want to walk with Edward or Alice to class today" Em asked and I pointed at Alice and she squealed and jumped yayyyy me and she ran over and hooked arms with me. Ow I thought she just raked over my cuts dang I'm glad I wore black today. I saw Edward he looked sad, ugh I don't want him sad but I cant be friends with him he can get to close and that depressed me. We walked into art class and the teacher gave us instruction to create art whatever we thought we could do.

" I love assignments like this, just gives me an excuse to go through my fashion magazines" Alice said "do you like art?" and she raised an eyebrow at me

I wrote yeah just not very good and slid it back to her and zoned out whitl drawing. I heard the bell ringing and Alice touched my shoulder and I jerked away and focused back on my picture it was of all of us Alice Emmett rose Charlie Renee and Edward in a picture frame broken to pieces the only ones not broke was Edward and I. I wrote see horrible and handed my note to Alice and wadded it up and threw it away horrible pictures belong in the trash I thought.

"Bella, rose needs me in gym class Edward has your next class so he's coming to walk with you that ok" she asked

I just shrugged "did he do something Bella?" Alice asked and I just shook my head no

what am I suppose to write yes he did he got to close no that would just make it worse i leaned against the wall waiting on Edward to get there and my phone buzzed I flipped it open and I just sunk to the floor and sat there what do i do.

"Bella are you okay," Edward asked I looked over an Edward was sitting cross-legged next to me look like he settled in. The halls were empty dang how late are we.

I grabbed my pen how late are we he read it "um bout 30 minutes but I couldn't get you out of the trance on your phone, what was that about" he asked

nothing I wrote

"is it the bad guy are you all in trouble" he asked

none of your concern I wrote

"yea it is Bella im worried about you let me help please" he begged

I don't need your help, and as long as you stay away from me ill be fine I wrote and threw it at him and I got up and walked out of the building. I expected him to follow me but he didn't maybe he finally got it. But I feel so empty knowing I've lost him when I never had him to begin with. But back to the problem here a week and already a visit isn't they a rule about letting someone settle in before they come and rip it to shreds were the love. Ha love it don't exist its just lust and torture how am I going to survive the weekend with Phil here and Edward so close he will notice im sure of it. I need a good nap I go up to my room cut a couple of times and actually fell asleep on my bed bad mistake.


	11. slumber party

Bella POV

I can do this I can do this I chanted to myself.

hey Emmett you think we can have a slumber party tonight with Alice? I wrote an slid under his bedroom door an headed down to make breakfast.

I was right in the middle of making omelets and Emmett came running in "Really are you sure this will totally make everyone's day are you sure? and he laughed I think he noticed I couldn't respond that quick while over the stove and if I move the food will burn.I looked at him then at the food and just nodded yes. "Oh wait Renee and phil are coming today dang" and he sat down sad. I pulled the food off the stove and put it on a plate for him. Then ran to get my pencil and paper.

"Please Emmett I want this I could always see them off the airport" I wrote I looked at him pleading.

"Wow bells been practicing that Alice look?" he smirked I just shook my head placed my hand on my hip then resorted to making begging motions.

"Bella do you not want to see Renee and phil?" he looked at me concerned

I panicked, but I had to I shook my head feverishly no and I sat down and put my head in my hands and began to cry and I wrote something and slipped it to Emmett it said please Emmett don't make me help me.

"Bella don't you worry about it ill call the secret weapon which just so happens to be Alice she can sweet charm dad out of anything." he said while grabbing his cell out.

He walked back in

"its set you wont get to see them til tomorrow go pack up for the night we best get going if you're wanting to just miss them" he said laughing.

I made sure the stove was off then up to my room packing clothes and sweaters and jeans and pajamas razor all the necessities to doing something I don't want to do to get out of seeing him. But hay at least ill see Edward. Why did I just think that ugh I hope this night don't end badly.

"Bella they wont be mean or anything to you, you don't have to be nervous" Emmett screamed. I felt safe around Emmett he didn't know the story and yet he was helping me just because I asked him to. So pulled on his sleeve and he turned to me and I gave him a giant hug which he returned gladly.

"oh bells, I missed you." he said. I smiled at him as he turned and rang the doorbell.

"OMG, were going to have so much fun, dressing bells up, pizza's movie maybe even truth or dare if Bella is up for it well be locked upstairs all day once everyone arrives let's go get jammies on I looked at Emmett and he laughed " yeah bells it's still daylight out but she gets serious bout her slumber party's, id go do it before she tries to doit herself." he teased.

We changed into our pajamas, but from the look on Alice's face she didn't like mine probably cause every piece of skin I practically had it covered up. Thats the way I plan to keep it to.

Everyone came in the door covered in mud apparently they were outside playing football and somehow they all got dirty they confuse me at times. "no don't you dare sit down you all go change for the slumber party." Alice screamed and pointing her fingers for them to all go upstairs like they were in trouble.

A giggle escaped my mouth about the time Edward passed me " that's a good sound to hear" he mumbled under his breath as he headed upstairs.

Emmett sat down next to Rose and cuddled up, as did jasper and Alice. I sat in the floor and Edward sat next to me as the movie and unfinished life began to play. Every abusive scene that would play id look down or flinch and Edward noticed because he'd grab my fingers pulling the carpet and look me in the eyes.

"Do you want to go get something to drink"? He asked I just nodded we very carefully left the others unnoticed which was a plus for me.

"Apparently you made Emmett happy, with a hug" he left it open hoping id say something but I wouldnt I grabbed my paper and wrote it was only a hug I cant help that he got happy over it.

"not complaining, just good to see him act himself again, he worries a lot about you."

I'm sorry I wrote "You don't even want to be here do you?" he asked I heard doors slamming at our house and I ran a peaked out the window it was him I saw him moving up to the door, oh no with all the lights there going to come ask over here I got to hide I got to run I need Emmett. I ran from the kitchen and ran straight to Emmett and started crying and pointed and pulling on him to take me somewhere. "What Bella what is it, c'mon Bella I aint psychic wheres your paper" everyone was looking around ughhh I screamed in my head I don't got time " Emmett please hide me he's here" and I burst into tears I heard a knock at the door and I ran up the stairs and into Edwards bedroom closet sat still barely breathing afraid he would hear me.

KNOCK KNOCK

Yes hello we where suppose to meet my daughter in the house next to yours do you have any idea were she is? phil asked. Oh yeah she is out shopping with my sister Alice they wont be back until tomorrow. "Fine I guess well have to check in to a hotel" he said while walking back down the driveway.

"bella, are you in here" Edward asked I whimpered and he came over to the closet he slowly opened the door to mr curled up at the back of the closet digging my nails into my wrist I had already made myself start bleeding and it was running down my arm.

"Shit" Edward mumbled

"Emmett grab the first aid kit in the kitchen and come up here." he screamed

"Bella come out here please" He begged

I just shook my head no it's not safe out there I thought. That was your step dad and mom wasnt it? I was sure I was giving him all the proof he needed because I was scared out of my mind now. So i answered him "mhm" tears still running down my face. "He's the bad guy aint he"? Edward asked but he already knew you could see it in his beautiful emerald eyes he knew.

Just then Emmett came busting in with the first aid kit here is Bells hurt?


	12. the beginning

EPOV

"no she just scratched her arm, give it to me" I said while taking the first aid kit from him. Emmett went running over to the closet

" Bella" he said peaking in.

"Are you okay, sis"? silence took over the room as we heard the car from earlier pulling out and driving away.

I went back to the closet to see bella she was looking like she was calming but she was still cutting her arm with her nails she looked so fragile so lost, her eyes lost their sparkle what had this guy done to my precious angel? Shew I love her I know it but I don't think she will ever be able to love someone as horrible as I am. Lost in thought Emmett screamed

" hey dude you just going to stare at her or are you going to bandage it"?

I looked at him "well move then" I exclaimed. Jasper, Rose, and Alice were all standing in the doorway watching me and Emmett force Bella out of the closet. I grabbed bellas arm and but she wouldn't move it took me and Emmett pulling to get her to move. She acted like that closet made her disappear or something. We finally sat her down on the bed but she was just in a daze lost looking out to space. I pulled her sleeves up and everyone just gasped I turned and looked at the others the girls were in tears already. Emmett was mad, and jasper just left the room he took it the hardest when I hurt myself he thought he should have seen it so I knew this was going to be hard on him. She has lines and lines of scars going across her arms and two vertically cut they didn't look to deep but means the thought of suicide had been through her mind. When I started to bandage her arm she came out of the trance and tried to pull her arm away. "no bella I have to" I replied pleading with her to not struggle.

Emmett bent down at eye level with Bella you could see the anger coming from him, Bella could to she looked frightened.

" I think its time for some answers bells don't you?" he said. I finished up bandaging her and looked at the scene Emmett and her was having.

She looked at him and just shook her head yes, she looked around for some paper, when jasper came back holding it. "Figured you would want this." He said while handing it to smiled at him but it didn't reach her eyes. She looked down at her paper then at all of us and began to write so we waited.

BPOV

Omg I was so scared but they lied they kept me safe maybe they are trustworthy. I don't know maybe they are just playing me I came out of my freak out phase to Edward wrapping my arms. Ugh that means they all know I cut now great and from Edwards eyes he knew I didn't want to be here anymore either. I looked down when Emmett looked at me and demanded answers he was scaring me from the anger in his eyes like he wanted to kill someone. So I looked for my paper and jasper handed it to me he looked really concerned but trying not to pity me. Ha everyone in this room is pitying me. But I guess I can trust them they did keep me safe and are still trying to help I guess you have to give them a try. So I wrote the most terrifying thing in the world.

don't tell anything to anyone especially dad, not even the fact I speak everyone has to promise, I sighed when I handed it to Emmett and he nodded and passed it around. Everyone agreed so I got up and headed down to the living room much more comfortable to talk in. I knew I needed Edward to help me through this or ill end up cutting later tonight when everyone's asleep so I pulled him aside as we were going downstairs

"will you help me, I don't think I can make it through the night with you." I said looking down at my hands I doubt he will.

EPOV

WOW this night its just one thing after the other, im paranoid what she will tell us im afraid of what happened to her but it will make it easier to know what not to do around her. We were all heading down to the living room when she grabbed me I thought she was gonna bolt with the look on her face, but instead she asked for help. Maybe she likes me just as much as I do her.

"Bella im with you forever as long as you want me" I told her. She looked awed and grabbed my and led me downstairs with her to begin her story.


End file.
